A toxic relationship involves behaviours on the part of the toxic partner that are mentally, emotionally andphysically damaging to their partner. A toxic relationship is characterized by insecurity, self-centeredness, dominance, control.
the toxic person attempts to isolate the partner from family and friends to limit support and to increase dependence on the relationship. This is a way to gain control over their partner's life.
Communication in a relationship is essential in arelationship, however, if a partnerever feels like theyare walking on eggshells whencommunicating this may show signs of toxicity.This often occurs when theyareunstable in their moods andbehaviours.When walking on eggshells you are often afraid of your partner's response to your situation.This can be denial and gaslighting.A toxic person is unable or unwilling to see their impact on the other person. They deny the problem, attempt to gaslight, manipulate events, or attempt to recreate history to put themselves in the best light.
A toxic relationship is often one of accusing a partner of flirting, dating, or even having a sexual relationship with someone outside of the relationship. At the same time, the controlling or toxic person may actively and openly engage in these same behaviours. Behaviours wouldinvolve apartner constantly making up lies about what they are doing, whom they are seeing and where they areto avoid spending time with their partner.
Patterns of disrespect
Casually “forgetting” events
negative financial behaviours such aswhen your partner makes financial decisions, including purchasing expensive items or withdrawing large sums of money, without consulting you.
Giving in on everything
Ifyour partner isignoringyour needsandyouare goingalong with whateveryourpartner wants to do, even when it goes againstyour comfort level.This is a red flag of a toxicrelationship Even thoughit is important to be willing to give and take, compromise, or even do what the other partner wants, this is expectedbehaviourin a toxic relationship. If you find you are giving into everything, even things you find morally, personally, or ethically objectionable just to keep the other person happy, you are in a toxic relationship.
This can cause ongoing stress and anxiety,it is common for people dating and in relationships to have minor disagreements, but toxic relationships are primarily based on arguments and negativity. The controlling partner is always berating, belittling, and putting down the other person or criticizing their attempts to do anything positive or independent. If disagreements result in any sort of violence or abuse please contact a helpline or 000.
Lack of self-care
Everybody needs their own alone time and space, if a partner has to withdraw from their hobbies, they once loved, neglecttheir health, and sacrifice most of their free time for their partner it can mean that the relationship is unhealthy.This does not mean we do not spend time with our partners. There should be a balance for quality time for each other andindividually.
Hoping for changes
You might stay in the relationship because you see the other person’s potential or think that if you just change yourself and your actions, they’ll change as well. Unfortunately, hoping for changes in a relationship can spiral into negative behaviours and can be threatening to your mental health.As mentioned in Psychology Today,Just Hoping for Change Might Keep You Stuck
1. Admit that the relationship is toxic
It can be difficult to accept that the relationship is truly toxic. You will be in a state of denial despite all the signs given in the circumstances.At one moment, you feel revulsion; at another, youjustifyyourpartner’s intolerable behaviour. We, humans,are taught to forgiveand accept others. That is a great value to hold,however, your partner should do the same for youwith respect.There are certain things that a person should neverignorein a relationship.No matter what circumstances it is toxic if your partnerisdishonest, humiliates, exploits youforresources,oremotionally or physically abuses you.If your partner does not hold his actions accountable and continues to hurt you, it is time for you to move on.
2. Stop believing this relationship is the best you can do.
If you are in a toxic relationship, you may feel that your toxic partner is the only person who will ever understand and love you.You may withdraw from others and avoiding face-to-face intimate interactionswith your close friends and family. However, thisreinforces the idea that you will never be known or cared for by anyone other than your toxic partner. It keeps you in a panic-like state of thinking you will find yourself alone. This desperation will prevent you from drawing boundaries and wholeheartedly holding your partner accountable. Before doing anything, work to build up your support system: Join a gym, participate in a hiking or book club, start a new hobby, meet friends to exercise, eat with different acquaintances. You need to start letting others get close to you so that you no longer feel as if your orbit will collapse without this toxic partner at thecentreof your life.
You may believe that you can somehow still keep in touch or have a phone relationship with a toxic ex-partner. These people have a way of manipulating and getting others to feel sorry for them. If you keep the connection, then you enable this individualan opportunity todraw you backtowardsthem. The only realistic way out is to stop all contact so that you can start anew.Also, time away helps positively enhance perspective.
4. Move on&pursueself-growth.
As a saying goes, “time will heal”. As aself-reflectionuse your energyand timeto pursue self-growth. Start meditating or journaling, read self-help books or take up weekly psychotherapy.During this period, give yourself time to reflect before moving on to a new relationship. Get to know yourself such as what you want and don’t want in a relationship. List downthevalues and qualities you want in afuturepartner.A strong, immediate attraction can sometimes mean trouble ahead for a relationship. Hold back and waitfora few beats. This allowsyou to avoid another disappointing relationship.
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