Living in the centre of town has advantages, like being within walking distance to three varieties of Tom Yum Chicken. And, also some spectacular entertainment on some nights including the conversations between members of a colony of wild cats. While I'm typing this, there are a couple of wild pussy-cats [don't think Snoop Dog and the Pussy-Cat Dolls] fighting for their territory a couple of floors below. They are howling and my interpretation is they are NOT using nice words...
1. You don't have your own income [or at least enough to be independent] e.g. your own roof/territory, so you don't control all of your decisions [when looking back you may be grateful for that, or not]. 2. You have so many creative thoughts and parallel depressing ones, and panicky 'omg what is the most important thing to do right now?!? stories' that rush through your mind, that it's really really really hard to answer a question comparing French Revolutionaries or even mildly motivated Tasmanians [actually that was a pretty tough gig and still is for the Tasmanians]. And... What I'm trying to say is... there are always so many competing ideas and people for your precious time and thoughts and emotions and... sometimes a good silent scream or imagined paintball fight [or a real one], might get you through the night!
SO, what are we talking about here? It's always from my 'Yerke's Dodson' angle [will explain later] a contest between your level of stress vs what ammo have I got to manage the attack on me???
But firstly, some confessions - which may not be helpful... But here goes, it may be better to learn from someone else who took the long road to learning...
What I know now is that the best teachers point you in the direction of even better teachers. They constantly tease you with what you want to know... based on your most passionate current drives and pushing you to also imagine things you have never considered.
You may be still completing exams right now, and/or you may be thinking about career options and paths to your ideal life in all sorts of ways professional and personal. And the really stressful thing is how fast everything seems, and how little control you have.
So, so, so [might be my favourite word... I digress]. So, take a second... remember... you always have time [no matter how old you are]. Ask the question "what do I want to be different?" and follow that answer.
New Age Hippy apologies up front, instead of starting with all the pros and cons list, start asking your kidneys, and your heart - what do I know? There are neurons [nerve cells] around your heart similar to those in your brain, and they independently send messages to your mind - So [again] trust your heart, it knows stuff that is hard to explain...
1. Map where you are. Ask yourself how much stress do I have, positive and negative? [i.e. you may be enjoying some of the challenges, so that would be eustress, good stress, but too much of a good thing can overwhelm you and turn into distress.
2. Sense. Ask your emotions and senses to give you some feedback. Just sit with what you notice for a second. e.g. my heart is racing, I have a headache, I'm sweating, and it's not that hot... Just 'let it be' [like Paul McCartney] for a second, and see what else comes up.
3. Do. Ask yourself what skills you already have to manage the above things you have noticed, including asking another person to help you. Force yourself to do something to improve the situation even if you don't feel like it. Once you start, usually it doesn't feel as hard as while you've been stuck staring at the obstacles.
You can answer all those questions in a few seconds. And the most important bit is letting your nervous system reset a little bit at point 2, so that your logical mind can help calm your emotional mind. It'll do it automatically for you if you give it a moment. If you are struggling to do that on your own. Talk to someone personal or professional, try some of the new apps to help you with these kinds of skills like 'CBT Companion'.
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